10 TIPS TO MEETING GUYS: (A Sincere Approach)

1) Always use scented deuche: you'll get infected but at least you'll smell divine when you two decide to eat out.

2) Have an assortment of at least twenty g-strings and thongs. Super-wedgeass a must.

3) Sultriness shows up best behind colored contacts. Stare between him and his cock so he gets the message.

4) Your tone of voice should be one of idiocy, confusion, and disgust. He'll get a kick out of throwing you around.

5) Always keep handy a flask of alcohol and a matching one for him in order to loosen things up a bit.

6) Get a mohawk or go bald.

7) Wear a skirt that shows off at least three inches of your gluteus maximus and all of your lovehandles for increased whoopie action.

8) Eat McDonalds, gum, and Starbucks in front of him to show that you're overpriced, quick and fat.

9) Hard to get is for fags-show him all you've got: pimples, nipples, cellulite, vulva, and more.

10) Suck his dick in the lunchroom, in the closet, whatever's easiest for him.

And remember kids, be yourself.